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By Willy Chan

In five months, I’ll have the pleasure (or so I’ve been told) of experiencing one of the most exciting and joyous moments in my life – I’ll be getting married and kissing goodbye to singlehood. In taking this quantum leap into marriage, my thoughts as well as my fiancée’s have invariably focused on the all-important wedding. Preparations are well underway with the reception, photographer, videographer, and church already booked months in advance.

In booking our wedding at Sts. Peter and Paul, my fiancée Helen and I discovered that we couldn’t get married at the church unless we took a marriage preparation course. Thoughts of listening to uninteresting lectures coupled with impractical advice crossed my mind. My initial course of action was to look for a weekend retreat where everything would be crammed into three days and it would be over with the blink of an eye. Unfortunately, when I contacted the Queen of Apostles Retreat Centre, they were fully booked. I was then informed that my own parish, Sts. Peter and Paul, offered an eight-week marriage preparation course. I conducted a little research and found out that the course had been in place for a number of years with Grant and Cheryl Arnold as the main facilitators. That seemed all right since I knew them, and besides, there was still space available! Dutifully, I registered for the course with my fiancée, with the thought of just fulfilling the minimal requirements.

On the first day of class, accompanied by my fiancée, I arrived with a sense of trepidation and fear, not really knowing what to expect. As I walked into the room, I was surprised to see many familiar faces including Mike and Cora Bryce, Doug and Natalie Meier, and Flavian and Olive Rego. I soon learned that they would be assisting Grant and Cheryl with the presentations and group discussions, and this definitely helped put my mind at ease. With twenty-two engaged couples in attendance, we were told that we were the largest class ever. During introductions, it was also explained to us that the intention of the course was to prepare us for a successful marriage, to help us start communicating about different issues before the wedding, and not afterwards. It’s ironic that many people spend so much time preparing for their wedding, which lasts for just one day, while they spend very little time contemplating about the marriage itself, which lasts for a lifetime.

The format for each week was quite straightforward beginning with an hour’s presentation by a lead couple and then continuing with smaller discussion groups to allow everyone an opportunity to share their views with others. The topics that were touched upon during the course included Readiness for Marriage, Communication, Conflict Resolution, Responsible Parenthood, Natural Family Planning, Sexuality, and the Sacrament of Matrimony. One of the key topics emphasized during the course was Money Management, since 70% of married couples actually divorce over financial issues.

Surprisingly, with each passing week, I began to appreciate the course more and more. No longer was I attending out of obligation, I actually was looking forward to each and every class. The classes as well as the resultant course notes provided the impetus for many of the discussions that Helen and I had on topics that we had never thought about. It was time well spent.

With the last day of the course finally upon us, I knew I would miss attending class every Wednesday. To celebrate, a mass was held for all the engaged couples and a nice surprise occurred when the facilitating couples renewed their wedding vows. An informal, catered dinner in the church hall followed, providing a fitting finale to the eight weeks. Everyone passed the course with flying colours, although I thought my success was in doubt until the very end.

Thanks to all the facilitating couples for their hard work and dedication in making the marriage preparation course a success. Good luck and congratulations to all of the engaged couples as they prepare for their upcoming weddings!